[m4w] delusions
Jan. 6th, 2004 11:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cthulhiadishonesty and denial are the building blocks of addiction. wow, I feel like I'm discussing my family with my therapist.
In my experience, the last person left believing your lies is yourself.
What bums me out is when mutual friends believe N's lies far longer than I do. N has been any number of people in my life. I have a massive blow-up every 3-5 years that results from me responding to information before I've verified it, and then finding out it's untrue, and then the liar telling people that I made it up, that's I am the liar. Sorry, just another meddling asshole. The liar is over there. (A number of these episodes are among the apparently few things I simply won't discuss on LJ.)
Sure, I learn a little something each time, but, there's always enough room for changes in variables that I don't realize what's happened until I'm in the middle of it again. Or, if there are multiple fronts, as it were, I won't notice all of them.
I never get to just relax and trust someone's word anymore. What statement are you making out of your own insecurity, that will then require an elaborate construction to maintain? If this bothers me, I am probably doing it too. How does my construct obstruct my view?
::
Happy epiphany! (as in January 6th. I've had these insights before, and still manage to forget them at crucial moments.)
Thanks for all the loot!
I "owe" gifts to many now. I'll listen for that what cries out your names, but whispering in my ear wouldn't hurt. :)
In my experience, the last person left believing your lies is yourself.
What bums me out is when mutual friends believe N's lies far longer than I do. N has been any number of people in my life. I have a massive blow-up every 3-5 years that results from me responding to information before I've verified it, and then finding out it's untrue, and then the liar telling people that I made it up, that's I am the liar. Sorry, just another meddling asshole. The liar is over there. (A number of these episodes are among the apparently few things I simply won't discuss on LJ.)
Sure, I learn a little something each time, but, there's always enough room for changes in variables that I don't realize what's happened until I'm in the middle of it again. Or, if there are multiple fronts, as it were, I won't notice all of them.
I never get to just relax and trust someone's word anymore. What statement are you making out of your own insecurity, that will then require an elaborate construction to maintain? If this bothers me, I am probably doing it too. How does my construct obstruct my view?
::
Happy epiphany! (as in January 6th. I've had these insights before, and still manage to forget them at crucial moments.)
Thanks for all the loot!
I "owe" gifts to many now. I'll listen for that what cries out your names, but whispering in my ear wouldn't hurt. :)
