[RTO] Spring fever?
Mar. 6th, 2003 11:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cthulhiaum, it's snowing.
I arranged to have the day off to hang out with someone. No answer on the phone, or IM, which verifies that away message or not, they're not idling. I err on the side of caution and just go into work late. But the idea of being stood up leaves me at a slow steady seethe. That's a fever of sorts.
She exhorts to express, expell our emotions, everything that's been bottled up all winter. Through this, she says, is Hope.
I have been pinning a lot of my hopes, and distractions, to this friendship working, no matter what. Focusing on it's success rather than issues and failures that I can't fix but have to endure. A lot of that reared up this week. I can't discuss it (not here, anyway), can't think about it because I don't have the time to implement my suggested solutions, nor hope that they would actually improve circumstances. I want to focus on something Good happening. I feel robbed of my positive distraction. The scales tip suddenly and heavily towards SUCK.
I arranged to have the day off to hang out with someone. No answer on the phone, or IM, which verifies that away message or not, they're not idling. I err on the side of caution and just go into work late. But the idea of being stood up leaves me at a slow steady seethe. That's a fever of sorts.
She exhorts to express, expell our emotions, everything that's been bottled up all winter. Through this, she says, is Hope.
I have been pinning a lot of my hopes, and distractions, to this friendship working, no matter what. Focusing on it's success rather than issues and failures that I can't fix but have to endure. A lot of that reared up this week. I can't discuss it (not here, anyway), can't think about it because I don't have the time to implement my suggested solutions, nor hope that they would actually improve circumstances. I want to focus on something Good happening. I feel robbed of my positive distraction. The scales tip suddenly and heavily towards SUCK.
