[RTO] Love v. Romance
Feb. 1st, 2003 05:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cthulhiaAh... since she wrote Simple Abundance, her marriage ended. So, ok, her and Martha Stewart? There is an object lesson in how the uberfemmes are fairing in love. Probably not that it makes their situation worse, but that it doesn't make a difference.
Here she notes how she crippled herself for years because there were things that didn't feel worth doing while single. I resemble that remark! Then I had a boyfriend, one who even picked up on romantic cues. (Rereading my gratitudes from last year, I find out that my cute fuzzy bunny with the sharp pointy teeth is a year old as of yesterday. aw.) But, he still didn't want to do all, or even most, of the romantic things I'd been planning for decades, should I finally get a date.
To quote![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
agrumer on IM right now: The people sitting at home with partners are often saying to themselves "Hey, why don't we go out and do stuff like the single folks do?" (His best quote so far tonight: I'm so grateful that the Internet didn't exist when I was working on my first novel, back in junior high. It'd still be out there now, in front of God and Google. My junior high novel was about space travel.)
I suppose being (sexually) polyamorous might solve some of this. Just being socially polyamorous, and putting more romance into friendships, is a solution.
Honestly, I thinktalonvaki would appreciate any efforts I put into Valentine's Day significantly more than everyone I've dated combined. (If you dismiss that day as nothing but consumerism and social pressure, I will mock your completist collection of dvds or books or scotches or... well, with any luck, you get my point...)
Some stuff, I've begun to realize, is still worth doing alone. I might talk myself out of it if expensive, or fattening, or something that allows me to avoid chores. This results in my near inability to turn down a social outing offer, because I haven't trained myself out of thinking that invitations are rare. They aren't. But, maybe this is the busy moment, the closest I get to a day in the sun. In a decade, I'll reminisce of when I had a life. The fear of no tomorrow keeps me social.
(Obligatory;mangosteen really sums up the numbness.) Today's big news item only reinforces the fear of no tomorrow. I remember the last time I had to think about this, in high school. Either you have test human limits, make useful discoveries, and have the riskiest commute ever, or you take no risks, gain nothing, and die anyway. Just be sure to let that motivate you in useful ways.
Here she notes how she crippled herself for years because there were things that didn't feel worth doing while single. I resemble that remark! Then I had a boyfriend, one who even picked up on romantic cues. (Rereading my gratitudes from last year, I find out that my cute fuzzy bunny with the sharp pointy teeth is a year old as of yesterday. aw.) But, he still didn't want to do all, or even most, of the romantic things I'd been planning for decades, should I finally get a date.
To quote
agrumer on IM right now: The people sitting at home with partners are often saying to themselves "Hey, why don't we go out and do stuff like the single folks do?" (His best quote so far tonight: I'm so grateful that the Internet didn't exist when I was working on my first novel, back in junior high. It'd still be out there now, in front of God and Google. My junior high novel was about space travel.)I suppose being (sexually) polyamorous might solve some of this. Just being socially polyamorous, and putting more romance into friendships, is a solution.
Honestly, I think
talonvaki would appreciate any efforts I put into Valentine's Day significantly more than everyone I've dated combined. (If you dismiss that day as nothing but consumerism and social pressure, I will mock your completist collection of dvds or books or scotches or... well, with any luck, you get my point...)Some stuff, I've begun to realize, is still worth doing alone. I might talk myself out of it if expensive, or fattening, or something that allows me to avoid chores. This results in my near inability to turn down a social outing offer, because I haven't trained myself out of thinking that invitations are rare. They aren't. But, maybe this is the busy moment, the closest I get to a day in the sun. In a decade, I'll reminisce of when I had a life. The fear of no tomorrow keeps me social.
(Obligatory;
mangosteen really sums up the numbness.) Today's big news item only reinforces the fear of no tomorrow. I remember the last time I had to think about this, in high school. Either you have test human limits, make useful discoveries, and have the riskiest commute ever, or you take no risks, gain nothing, and die anyway. Just be sure to let that motivate you in useful ways.
