[m4w] giving yourself away/freedom

I'd already decided to return to my life yesterday, before I read the entry about giving too much of the self away. The serendipity was satisfying though. Today's entry is about freedom, which is somehow defined in terms of believing that there is possibility for enlightment via the tedium of your current employment.

But, I thought of it in terms of returning to the land of having friends right down the street for whom I could bring Hemstrought's Half Moons. Having numerous social options in walking distance, even if the cold resulted in my using the car anyway. Reading a friend's report on their last-minute "we have no plans" party being as well attended as long-planned events back home. Having enough other local friends to fill up a 40th birthday party, talking about puzzle hunts and MIT hacks all while sitting in a big fuzzy leopard print high heeled shoe and getting my hed scritched.

Being able to walk down the block, check the lines and menus at several breakfast shops, invite a 3rd person as we walked. Walk to Diesel to get my sister more coffee (I'd been waking up to diesel dark all week, and you can bet that's going in my 5-things gratitude journal tonight). And be able to select from many Lord of the Rings Board games for my nephew, who didn't realize such a thing existed.

(He likes to play cards. This reassures me. Although, he's losing one of the two people I could always count on for a card game when I lived there. I wonder if the bridge players will still turn up at Mom's on saturdays, if my nephew will ever have the free time and interest to join them. I may try to go home regularly, possibly kidnapping some of you in the process, to teach him games.)

My sister told me she'd consider giving up all her space and stuff to live in a neighborhood with something to do.

Sure, I still have eventual mourning to process. Even a quick (but a "o I can't really catch up") glance on my friends page reminded me that this is all emotional stuff. My way of life is not immediately threatened, and, although I think some part of him fears we won't, I suspect we will continue to thrive. (I don't know if it's true ego: we simply not as good as him, or insecurity: he thinks he didn't parent well enough.) It's odd to have people going through really awful stuff of their own feel bad on my behalf, forgetting that their pain is more immediate, threatening, and all the worse for not being as publicly accepted as Really Awful. The hardest hurts are the one's you haven't been conditioned to validate. It's the little things that get you.

I can distance myself from my situation. I wish y'all could do the same with yours.

[m4w] giving yourself away/freedom

I'd already decided to return to my life yesterday, before I read the entry about giving too much of the self away. The serendipity was satisfying though. Today's entry is about freedom, which is somehow defined in terms of believing that there is possibility for enlightment via the tedium of your current employment.

But, I thought of it in terms of returning to the land of having friends right down the street for whom I could bring Hemstrought's Half Moons. Having numerous social options in walking distance, even if the cold resulted in my using the car anyway. Reading a friend's report on their last-minute "we have no plans" party being as well attended as long-planned events back home. Having enough other local friends to fill up a 40th birthday party, talking about puzzle hunts and MIT hacks all while sitting in a big fuzzy leopard print high heeled shoe and getting my hed scritched.

Being able to walk down the block, check the lines and menus at several breakfast shops, invite a 3rd person as we walked. Walk to Diesel to get my sister more coffee (I'd been waking up to diesel dark all week, and you can bet that's going in my 5-things gratitude journal tonight). And be able to select from many Lord of the Rings Board games for my nephew, who didn't realize such a thing existed.

(He likes to play cards. This reassures me. Although, he's losing one of the two people I could always count on for a card game when I lived there. I wonder if the bridge players will still turn up at Mom's on saturdays, if my nephew will ever have the free time and interest to join them. I may try to go home regularly, possibly kidnapping some of you in the process, to teach him games.)

My sister told me she'd consider giving up all her space and stuff to live in a neighborhood with something to do.

Sure, I still have eventual mourning to process. Even a quick (but a "o I can't really catch up") glance on my friends page reminded me that this is all emotional stuff. My way of life is not immediately threatened, and, although I think some part of him fears we won't, I suspect we will continue to thrive. (I don't know if it's true ego: we simply not as good as him, or insecurity: he thinks he didn't parent well enough.) It's odd to have people going through really awful stuff of their own feel bad on my behalf, forgetting that their pain is more immediate, threatening, and all the worse for not being as publicly accepted as Really Awful. The hardest hurts are the one's you haven't been conditioned to validate. It's the little things that get you.

I can distance myself from my situation. I wish y'all could do the same with yours.

ok, so I guess I shouldn't've skipped the halftime show?

because ms. jackson got nasty?
Then again, CNN aired the Move On Ad that CBS refused. Twice.

The St. Patrick's Day Ad was my favorite. (Sorry, Wang Chung...)

You know, when I used to "have to" watch the Bills in the stuporbowl, they never kept up this kind of drama. It's so odd watching the game for more than the ads.

ok, so I guess I shouldn't've skipped the halftime show?

because ms. jackson got nasty?
Then again, CNN aired the Move On Ad that CBS refused. Twice.

The St. Patrick's Day Ad was my favorite. (Sorry, Wang Chung...)

You know, when I used to "have to" watch the Bills in the stuporbowl, they never kept up this kind of drama. It's so odd watching the game for more than the ads.