[m4w] fear and loathing on my friends page

(... which could apply to just the Iowa caucus, the state of the union, or even just evite... mostly though, it sounds cool and might cause a bunch of you to repeatedly reload my friends page to try and root out some tasty psychodrama that isn't there, as far as I know...)

it was pointed out to me recently that I seem to function under the delusion that I am uniquely socially insecure. Everyone else is just as neurotic, in fact, more so, because they're too insecure to even admit that much.

But, it means I either drive people away because I might oblige them to face their own insecurities, or I draw them due to the benefit of bonding over such issues, or, and this one I really like, it makes them feel better that someone like me is even insecure. Enough people they respect regard me as cool that I provide a reassurance that they too might be cool, and be too insecure to realize it.

The person who pointed out that she and others simply hide their insecurity is, in fact, way cooler than me. (My therapist would not let go of my description of her as my closest living equivalent of MarjCat. Of course, he seems to really want me to process MarjCat's death all over again. I feel well-past mourning. I started the day of the dead party to make sure I wouldn't forget her for years at a stretch.)

There was a 3 am revelation that those who dismiss such things as absurd have to, or else be forced to admit their mountain of anxiety is not a mirage. This would be a classic SEP (Somebody else's problem) field being more effective than actually making something invisible.

::

Close to Home today is, ha ha, a reference to Catnip. Marj/Cat was really Cat, but there are too many of those. "Marj" makes her sound like Homer's wife. Lady Caterina del Cavallo is too formal, and, we worked together, outside of Scadia.

She would have really, really liked the big red kitty in Making Fiends. When she made those noises, it was as a dinosaur. In SCA terms she was ancient.

Women's wit today is from Fran Lebowitz. Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you. Not sure I agree, well, unless my cell decides to audbily vibrate during an MFA members only open house art lecture, and it turns out to be a call from the Amex rep who gave us awfief's free lunch at the Sunset.

Lecture interruptions remind me of when Throatwobbler yawned and belched at the same time during Art 105, causing even the allegedly humorless prof to have to stop and recompose. I only knew who it was because I was sitting next to her at the time. (This is not why she's referred to as Throatwobbler. That was one of her more long-lived RPG characters.)

Throatwobbler is arguably another of the MarjCat sort. Alas, chocolate brunches and local Chinese New Year parties sound more appealing than driving 10 hours and a poor night's sleep to hear bad poetry. I still haven't made up the sleep I lost at Arisia.

I will have to find another time to visit her. Perhaps I should take her to Wicked instead.

[m4w] fear and loathing on my friends page

(... which could apply to just the Iowa caucus, the state of the union, or even just evite... mostly though, it sounds cool and might cause a bunch of you to repeatedly reload my friends page to try and root out some tasty psychodrama that isn't there, as far as I know...)

it was pointed out to me recently that I seem to function under the delusion that I am uniquely socially insecure. Everyone else is just as neurotic, in fact, more so, because they're too insecure to even admit that much.

But, it means I either drive people away because I might oblige them to face their own insecurities, or I draw them due to the benefit of bonding over such issues, or, and this one I really like, it makes them feel better that someone like me is even insecure. Enough people they respect regard me as cool that I provide a reassurance that they too might be cool, and be too insecure to realize it.

The person who pointed out that she and others simply hide their insecurity is, in fact, way cooler than me. (My therapist would not let go of my description of her as my closest living equivalent of MarjCat. Of course, he seems to really want me to process MarjCat's death all over again. I feel well-past mourning. I started the day of the dead party to make sure I wouldn't forget her for years at a stretch.)

There was a 3 am revelation that those who dismiss such things as absurd have to, or else be forced to admit their mountain of anxiety is not a mirage. This would be a classic SEP (Somebody else's problem) field being more effective than actually making something invisible.

::

Close to Home today is, ha ha, a reference to Catnip. Marj/Cat was really Cat, but there are too many of those. "Marj" makes her sound like Homer's wife. Lady Caterina del Cavallo is too formal, and, we worked together, outside of Scadia.

She would have really, really liked the big red kitty in Making Fiends. When she made those noises, it was as a dinosaur. In SCA terms she was ancient.

Women's wit today is from Fran Lebowitz. Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you. Not sure I agree, well, unless my cell decides to audbily vibrate during an MFA members only open house art lecture, and it turns out to be a call from the Amex rep who gave us awfief's free lunch at the Sunset.

Lecture interruptions remind me of when Throatwobbler yawned and belched at the same time during Art 105, causing even the allegedly humorless prof to have to stop and recompose. I only knew who it was because I was sitting next to her at the time. (This is not why she's referred to as Throatwobbler. That was one of her more long-lived RPG characters.)

Throatwobbler is arguably another of the MarjCat sort. Alas, chocolate brunches and local Chinese New Year parties sound more appealing than driving 10 hours and a poor night's sleep to hear bad poetry. I still haven't made up the sleep I lost at Arisia.

I will have to find another time to visit her. Perhaps I should take her to Wicked instead.